We're all a VICTIM of it.

Giving in to the temptation is weakness. Do you do it cos your friends are? Given that you want to also. It really gets to me when someone close has suddenly become someone so different yet similar to everyone else. I like to be friends with people who are themselves.

Okay, I might just not be accepting this change, because I don't like it. Because i'm jealous that they're moving on, changing? Not changing for the better. You're changing into someone I don't know so much anymore. Not saying I don't like you, but it's like, you're in another crowd of people, where the hell do I come into it? I may not be that great, that fun or that experimentive but doesn't the years that we were best friends count for anything?

Sitting in the backyard, carling on my breath and sipping on malibu, coke and ice. The sound of distant traffice passing by, those commuting away from work and to home prehaps. Birds and gentle purring of my cat sleeping near by. Sun's shining, light seeping through the branches of leaves and plums on the tree that I am under. Calming breeze. Wearing boxer shorts and tank top. Am I feeling inspired for a new blog entry? Naaaa.

Got an earlier bus home today, felt like I needed a break. Time has catched up on me and i'm finding it hard to wake at the usual 630 in the morning. How was my day? OK. Slid out of bed hopelessly at 630am, to almost having to catch the later bus. The bus drivers are dead friendly towards me....don't know why? Haha. At county hall - workload was light. Found myself staring at my screen, back and forth from my diary, trying to work out when to get friends together. What could we do?? I can think of several things. But, is it just me that's making an effort? Pssh, so it seems. Drank some coffee - burnt my tongue. Even now it's still recovering from its injuries. Had a hotdog from the market at lunch. Come afternoon, just sat talking to work mates.

Been on MSN on a regualr basis now. Past um, five days straight? Spoke to THREE people, all of which were guys. One wanted webcam...No, I don't want to watch you smack your wanger!

August 9 SUNDAY. My cousin turned 20. How did he celebrate? Las Vegas baby! I went to a bootsale in the morning of that day (beat that Vegas!), found some MAC and NARS make up going cheap, kaching! Afternoon - went round a friend's house. She was having her leaving party, which was great to see people I hadn't seen since college. She told stories about what she'd done and been through - Her life experience is crazy for nineteen - she's travelled all over the globe! And now, living in China for a year! I find myself thinking, shit, what have I done huh? California is an achievement though, haha. Meanwhile, I met up with a friend who only lived like, three doors down. Was nice. It's cool how he and I still keep in touch.

Tuesday August 11: At work. Went out with my work mates to a bar called Saracens. The cute chinese guy (i'm sure i've mentioned) bought me a drink - a bud. I may have appreciated it too much when I went and hugged him...Haha, now i'm sure he'll stick to his promise to get me a cocktail next time! As it was lunch and you're meant to eat, right? I didn't. And a beer on an empty stomach...yeah, i've experienced this several times. I felt WOOZY. We sat outside in the beer garden, in the sun. Stupidly, I misjudged the weather that day. Instead of it raining, as I predicted, it was sunny and friggen hot. What was I wearing? Black skinny jeans and a black jumper...yeah. A guy said, "Louise, you're melting!" I thought he was referring to my makeup, cos it does that. But, trust, the jumper was loose AND quite thin, nothing heavy or anything...besides, I wasn't wearing anything underneath ;) Hahaha.

Same day, that evening. A couple friends and I met up at Basildon FLP, I must add that unfortunately, our 'group' was not complete, one much missed person wasn't there. We went to Nandos first off, I was starving by then so I appreciated it more. We had time then to catch up, was cool. We then purchased our tickets to see the movie The Ugly Truth. So effen hilarius man! Ive never heard the UK cinema to be laughing to much, so loudly. The next day I was giggling to myself as I reinacted some scenes from the film, in my head, ofcorse. Afterwards we were hopeless at decided what to do next, so we wandered to the bowling alley and the arcades, then to a bar. I had no cash money on me, just my card. So we went to the cashpoint, where the ATM didn't give me my 20. Shit. Nevermind. One of my friends was kind enough to buy me a coke, thanks! Whilst waiting for my ride, I watched them play some pool. And that was that. Note to self: MUST renew passport - it being expired two months ago is not accepted as age identity.

Currently, I need to pee. Too much detail? Ha. Food's ready also. On MSN but a certain someone who I hoped would initiate a conversation, hasn't. Did fricken dums. Must go on to think about what I should arrange with friends. I'm feeling really social. What has happened to me. I have inspiration now also, can you tell by how I am rambling on. Oh, thought of the moment, besides holding in the need to leak. Must check my phone, but doubt she's called yet. I'll be back typing more! Ciao for now!